It breaks my heart every time I talk to her because, I remember that feeling. I remember what it felt like to be lost and to feel so alone. You get to a point where you think the answer to all your problems is what you've left behind so you try to go back. But you can't.
You can't go back. And in reality, you shouldn't.
What's even harder is that I know she thinks that I don't understand. And to some extent she's right. I don't know what it's like to be so in love with SOMEONE that it hurts because honestly, I've never felt that way about anyone. But I do know what it's like to miss something so much that it feels like your empty inside. To feel so lost and alone that you would do anything to get rid of that feeling.
How it can hurt you inside and tear you apart organ from organ, limb from limb, but you can't do anything to stop it. And, you know that there is nothing you can do. You're just going to have to ride it out.
I know. But to her, I'm just another person that does not understand.
How do you help someone who refuses to believe you can help? It gets to it's own point where you just don't want to help anymore. If she's not going to listen then what's the point of trying?
But i find myself ill-equipped. Even though there have been times where she's left me high and dry...i can't do it to her. Even when I know she deserves it sometimes, I can't bring myself to extract that revenge on her.
Does that make me merciful? Or make me a fool?
-_-x I wish she could see just how pointless it all is. How the love you find in this world doesn't mean anything in comparison to the grand scheme of things. I wish she could see that when love here on earth can break your heart God's love would never do such a thing and it can heal everything that's gone wrong in life.
But I fear that she is so in love with this world that...really...she won't see and more importantly doesn't want to see it.
God help her, because He knows that she needs it from somewhere.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Monday, November 03, 2008
How Corrupt Do We Have To Get?
Genesis 6:5-7 says
(5) Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was evil continually. (6) The LORD was sorry that He had made men on the earth and He was grieved in His heart. (7) The LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them."
And all I keep thinking is how wicked are we going to let ourselves become before God decides that He is sorry he created us? We are in danger. And are teetering on the edge of moral corruption because we have moved from being a God based country to a "politically correct" capitalist democracy. This has become a nation where writing "In God we trust" on our money is now considered to be the subliminal enforcement of religious beliefs, but the lacing of the media with sexual innuendos is not considered as subliminal secular conditioning of our society. Or at least, the latter is more acceptable than the previous.
Where is the line going to be drawn?
Now, some people might say, "Maybe the reason why God hasn't chosen to blot us out is because we aren't that bad. But who are we kidding? That is a fallacy; an argument of ignorance to give in to such reasoning and it even says in the Bible, Matthew 24:38-39
(38) For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; (39) and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
Now, Noah was found righteous in the eyes of God, he found favor with God. But the question remains...when God comes to judge us...are you going to be in the ark? Or are you going to be partying outside when the flood comes?
(5) Then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was evil continually. (6) The LORD was sorry that He had made men on the earth and He was grieved in His heart. (7) The LORD said, "I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, from man to animals to creeping things and to birds of the sky; for I am sorry that I have made them."
And all I keep thinking is how wicked are we going to let ourselves become before God decides that He is sorry he created us? We are in danger. And are teetering on the edge of moral corruption because we have moved from being a God based country to a "politically correct" capitalist democracy. This has become a nation where writing "In God we trust" on our money is now considered to be the subliminal enforcement of religious beliefs, but the lacing of the media with sexual innuendos is not considered as subliminal secular conditioning of our society. Or at least, the latter is more acceptable than the previous.
Where is the line going to be drawn?
Now, some people might say, "Maybe the reason why God hasn't chosen to blot us out is because we aren't that bad. But who are we kidding? That is a fallacy; an argument of ignorance to give in to such reasoning and it even says in the Bible, Matthew 24:38-39
(38) For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark; (39) and they knew nothing about what would happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man.
Now, Noah was found righteous in the eyes of God, he found favor with God. But the question remains...when God comes to judge us...are you going to be in the ark? Or are you going to be partying outside when the flood comes?
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