God has a bigger plan than I could even comprehend
He can see the bigger picture,
While my humanity is the blinder that hinders me.
That keeps me in the dark.
But I can have faith that He’s taking care of it all
Because He’s the type of leader who I can follow blindly
And the only leader that I will follow blindly.
The type of leader who I do follow blindly.
In spite of how ridiculous it might sound to those around me.
And Though there are times where I’m too scared
Where the paths He may lead seem too dangerous
Too unknown
Too...much.
In the end, He will never lead me astray,
And if I just let him lead the way, then He will steer me out of the valley of death.
So when I look at you,
I can tell you have some doubts,
I can see in your eyes that you’re not sure if this is the right way
Which makes you hesitant.
All I can think to say is that, “If this is where God wants to lead you. Just let Him.”
And no matter what damage it may do to the norm we have created...just know that God never pits us against something that we can’t overcome.
It’s okay. We will survive.
-penman scribe
Monday, January 26, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
the REAL glory of Heaven
“What is something you look forward to?”
The question itself was simple enough. I only wanted to get to know her more, wanted to build a relationship with her so as to better relate to her and her life; but I didn’t expect our conversation to yield anything other than a greater understanding of who she was. Yet it did, because her answer, to this one simple question, haunted my thoughts more than I could have believed possible.
“Oh man, I look forward to going to heaven. Can you just imagine, if it’s everything the Bible says it is, how awesome would that be? Streets paved with gold? A house built for me. No more sadness, no more fear. That must be amazing.”
Now, It’s a valid answer. I’m sure she’s not the only person to ever say that going to Heaven was something to look forward to, but, at the same time, I have to wonder if Heaven was all she’s excited for. Granted, golden paved streets and mansions built by God are what exciting in their own right, but what about God? All of those things would not exist without God and really, in heaven, shouldn’t spending eternity with God, the Father, be the ultimate reward as a Christian?
I suppose it could argued that I’m being too critical of her answer, and I’d be lying if I said I went on to push her further to try and make her understand. But, none the less, I left that conversation with a questioning of my spiritual life, not just the spiritual life of others. What was my reason in being a Christian?
The Bible says:
“They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.” Revelation 7:16
It sounds amazing, the benefits of heaven, but the Bible also says:
“ For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.”
Revelation 7:17-18
So you see, all of the blessings of Heaven are nothing without God, in all honesty, I know the Bible describes heaven as an indescribable paradise but would it be anything compared to the Glory of God? In my opinion, I think He would be much more distracting than a mansion with my name on it and I probably wouldn't notice if the streets were made of cheese if I was walking with Jesus because, honestly. all I would notice is Jesus.
When you think about it, the God who offered us mercy and salvation will be there for us to fellowship with. Despite all of our transgressions and all of our sins He gave us a way out and, moreover, He gave it to us because he loves us. We don’t deserve it. We don’t deserve heaven, we don’t deserve streets of gold and no pain and no tears. We deserve to die, and we certainly do not deserve Him. But He saved us.
And it's when I think of that, the fact that I'll be able to spend time with my Savior, my God, that makes me think I could care less about the material things of heaven, God is the REAL glory and reward.
Now, don't get me wrong, I will admit that the rest is a really great "bonus", but...I have to ask would I still want to go and still be excited if they weren't part of the package?
Would I still want to go and be excited if they were and God wasn't?
hmm...
Well...what about you?
till next time
Stay Faithful
The question itself was simple enough. I only wanted to get to know her more, wanted to build a relationship with her so as to better relate to her and her life; but I didn’t expect our conversation to yield anything other than a greater understanding of who she was. Yet it did, because her answer, to this one simple question, haunted my thoughts more than I could have believed possible.
“Oh man, I look forward to going to heaven. Can you just imagine, if it’s everything the Bible says it is, how awesome would that be? Streets paved with gold? A house built for me. No more sadness, no more fear. That must be amazing.”
Now, It’s a valid answer. I’m sure she’s not the only person to ever say that going to Heaven was something to look forward to, but, at the same time, I have to wonder if Heaven was all she’s excited for. Granted, golden paved streets and mansions built by God are what exciting in their own right, but what about God? All of those things would not exist without God and really, in heaven, shouldn’t spending eternity with God, the Father, be the ultimate reward as a Christian?
I suppose it could argued that I’m being too critical of her answer, and I’d be lying if I said I went on to push her further to try and make her understand. But, none the less, I left that conversation with a questioning of my spiritual life, not just the spiritual life of others. What was my reason in being a Christian?
The Bible says:
“They shall hunger no more, neither thirst any more; neither shall the sun light on them, nor any heat.” Revelation 7:16
It sounds amazing, the benefits of heaven, but the Bible also says:
“ For the Lamb which is in the midst of the throne shall feed them, and shall lead them unto living fountains of waters: and God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes.”
Revelation 7:17-18
So you see, all of the blessings of Heaven are nothing without God, in all honesty, I know the Bible describes heaven as an indescribable paradise but would it be anything compared to the Glory of God? In my opinion, I think He would be much more distracting than a mansion with my name on it and I probably wouldn't notice if the streets were made of cheese if I was walking with Jesus because, honestly. all I would notice is Jesus.
When you think about it, the God who offered us mercy and salvation will be there for us to fellowship with. Despite all of our transgressions and all of our sins He gave us a way out and, moreover, He gave it to us because he loves us. We don’t deserve it. We don’t deserve heaven, we don’t deserve streets of gold and no pain and no tears. We deserve to die, and we certainly do not deserve Him. But He saved us.
And it's when I think of that, the fact that I'll be able to spend time with my Savior, my God, that makes me think I could care less about the material things of heaven, God is the REAL glory and reward.
Now, don't get me wrong, I will admit that the rest is a really great "bonus", but...I have to ask would I still want to go and still be excited if they weren't part of the package?
Would I still want to go and be excited if they were and God wasn't?
hmm...
Well...what about you?
till next time
Stay Faithful
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
So God is Good.
Let me break down what happened for you.
Jan. 12, 2009
Worked from 6:30-10:30am and had class at 12:00pm from noon to six.
But, I had failed to purchase a parking permit early enough to have it sent to my house so I had to go pick it up, thus, I left straight from work to go to school so that I could. *sigh* okay, here it goes:
The drive was horribly dangerous. San Bernardino is known for high gusty winds and my drive was completely and utterly frightening, but I made it and silently praised God that the car did NOT tip over. [still thanking God]
I got to school at 11:06am. Pulled up to the information booth to purchase a day pass as a precaution, in case I couldn't get my parking permit, and asked, clear as day, "So, I pick up my parking permit at parking services right?" The lady looked at me with a smile and nodded replying, "Yes, or you could go to the bookstore. They'll give it to you there." Now, the Coyote bookstore was MUCH closer to where I was AND where I needed to go, so I thought, 'Oh wow, that's awesome. I'll go there'
So, I thankfully found a good parking spot and believed it was a shaping up to be a very good day, but then I walked into the bookstore to witness complete and utter madness! There were people everywhere carrying books and scantrons, scrabbling in line, etc. etc. I was able to pull away one worker and asked, "Where can I pick up my parking permit?"
"Oh," She replied, "You have to wait in the long line, sorry. But when you get to the register just tell them and they'll give it to you."
I sighed and shrugged, thinking that it obviously was my own fault since I am such a procrastinator sometimes. I waited in line, which wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be, but still long, and gladly pulled out my online receipt asking for my parking pass. The guy looked at my apologetically and said, "This line was only for if you needed to BUY the parking pass. You pick it up at the window outside."
I was a little peeved but none the less sighed and thanked him for his time before making my way outside. It was hot and the winds were high again but got up to the window no problem and pulled out my receipt for a second time. He took one look at it then glanced at me, "Oh." He started, "You bought this online?" I nodded and he sighed, "Sorry, you have to take this to the Bursar's office. They'll give you your parking permit there."
At this point I sighed, biting my tongue, and nodded, "Okay. Thank you for your time." I sighed and tried to find in my mind where the Bursar's office was when I remembered there was a desk in University Hall which was great because I had to park there anyway.
Lo and behold: There was no parking and I circled the parking lot for a full 20minutes before simply going back to Lot C and finding a new parking spot FAR away and fearing being late for class. I simply resigned myself to pick it up later so I went to my first class. Anthropology 102, which should be fun.
I was let out of class early so I soon found myself right outside the Bursar's office with enough time before my next class. I walked in, thankful that I was finally get my parking permit, when the lady at the desk told me, "Sorry. We don't do that here. You have to go to parking services and they'll give it to you there."
I honestly could have died right there. THAT WAS THE FIRST QUESTION I ASKED! WHAT THE HECK?!?! WHY IS EVERYONE WRONG?! -_-x sigh. But none the less I sighed, thanked her for her time and smiled before heading off to my next class.
Now the rest of my day seemed alright. My classes make me excited and I couldn't help but be completely enamored with my professors, but it was after my last class that things went awry.
So my last class ended at 5:40 and I had wanted to go to the library before I made my way home. Of course, stepping out of UH I was immediately met by the high winds again and was thrown into the wall by the sheer massive force.
I quickly reevaluated my plans and simply turned the other way.
I braved the high winds and tried to make sure not to get run over, even though it was very hard to see and made my way back to my car. I drove home as fast as I could, again fearing being pushed over by the Santa Ana winds, but safely making it back. I thought, "Finally this day is over."
Well, clearly the day was over, but not my troubles.
Jan. 13, 2009
I woke up early to take my sister to school when I couldn't find my wallet. I searched EVERYWHERE! It was no where to be found and as I sat to try and think where it could be I was suddenly struck with the thought of the high winds.
I remembered that I had pulled out my wallet to retrieve a dollar for a soda and stuck it in the outer pocket of my backpack. Now my pack has a flap, but against the high winds my flap is clearly no match. And I remembered on my way to the car the flap of my backpack being thrust open and having trouble closing it. I was hit with the horrible realization that my wallet must have been blown out of my bag without me knowing.
After that I was near tears. My license, my ID card, my visa card, and a total of six dollars were all there and I was left with nothing. I couldn't drive, I couldn't pay for anything and now I couldn't even borrow books from the library. It was a horrible way to start the day.
I prayed for so long that I would just find it, but when it was obvious that it wasn't anywhere in the house I sighed and simply prayed someone wouldn't take advantage of me and my information. That someone would be a good person and turn it in to campus police who I had given a full report and description to. I still had to be practical though. I canceled my visa card, made an appointment with the dmv and added up the costs of replacing everything I was missing.
Then it was even more frustrating when the Apple store called and told me they had my computer (I had turned it in for repair a week ago). I thought, "Fabulous. I've missed my computer." when they said, "Just bring all your paper work and an ID."
Great. that's just great. The only ID that I had in my possession was from Sophomore year and it was broken. -_-x was this an idea of how the whole week would go? I really hoped not.
Throughout the whole day, I tried to stay positive and keep putting my faith in God. I sang as many praise and worship songs and hymns as I could remember to try and remind myself that God was in control. I went through Blessed Assurance, Amazing grace, Blessed by the name, Come thou Fount, etc. etc. but none the less was still worried.
Later in the day my family successfully distracted me from everything that was bothering me. I got my computer with only slight hesitation from the Apple store guy and we went out to dinner. We hung out with no worries, no troubles and just were together as a family, which felt good. (granted my mother is New Jersey visiting my cousins and we did miss her, but it was still good.)
But then when i got home, I went over all the things that I had to do tomorrow. Like go to school four hours early to buy books and do all the homework that I haven't been able to do. I had to buy a new ID card and hopefully get a book on reserve and...blah. it was just a headache. And I just prayed that God would give me the strength to get through it all.
I decided then to go on myspace because the buddypoke, (which Nikki and i love to respond to each other on) relaxes me.
and when I signed in, i found a new message...
it was amazing
the subject said, "I FOUND YOUR WALLET"
I could hardly contain myself, I opened it and it was true. This girl had found my wallet, inside the UH building and because she couldn't find a number to reach me she decided to try myspace. And she found me.
Not only that, she is a choir student who found my wallet on her way out of choir rehearsal and she said, "Isn't the Lord amazing letting a sister find your wallet?" She's a Christian. haha A Christian who found me and gave me her number so that I could call and arrange a meeting. My heart just swelled to ten times it's size.
God had heard my prayers and he knew that I was in trouble. He delivered in a way that completely and utterly miraculous and out of all of the worldly, college students who could have found my wallet and used my card or worse, found my social security number, a Christian choir girl found it. I had been saved all the trouble in replacing my license and ID card, etc. etc. and I didn't have to worry about it anymore. God had delivered.
I still can't grasp it. God had delivered.
I can't tell you how much in awe I am in right now. I am...in awe.
*sigh*
I'll say it again: God. Is. Good.
God. is REALLY REALLY good.
Jan. 12, 2009
Worked from 6:30-10:30am and had class at 12:00pm from noon to six.
But, I had failed to purchase a parking permit early enough to have it sent to my house so I had to go pick it up, thus, I left straight from work to go to school so that I could. *sigh* okay, here it goes:
The drive was horribly dangerous. San Bernardino is known for high gusty winds and my drive was completely and utterly frightening, but I made it and silently praised God that the car did NOT tip over. [still thanking God]
I got to school at 11:06am. Pulled up to the information booth to purchase a day pass as a precaution, in case I couldn't get my parking permit, and asked, clear as day, "So, I pick up my parking permit at parking services right?" The lady looked at me with a smile and nodded replying, "Yes, or you could go to the bookstore. They'll give it to you there." Now, the Coyote bookstore was MUCH closer to where I was AND where I needed to go, so I thought, 'Oh wow, that's awesome. I'll go there'
So, I thankfully found a good parking spot and believed it was a shaping up to be a very good day, but then I walked into the bookstore to witness complete and utter madness! There were people everywhere carrying books and scantrons, scrabbling in line, etc. etc. I was able to pull away one worker and asked, "Where can I pick up my parking permit?"
"Oh," She replied, "You have to wait in the long line, sorry. But when you get to the register just tell them and they'll give it to you."
I sighed and shrugged, thinking that it obviously was my own fault since I am such a procrastinator sometimes. I waited in line, which wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be, but still long, and gladly pulled out my online receipt asking for my parking pass. The guy looked at my apologetically and said, "This line was only for if you needed to BUY the parking pass. You pick it up at the window outside."
I was a little peeved but none the less sighed and thanked him for his time before making my way outside. It was hot and the winds were high again but got up to the window no problem and pulled out my receipt for a second time. He took one look at it then glanced at me, "Oh." He started, "You bought this online?" I nodded and he sighed, "Sorry, you have to take this to the Bursar's office. They'll give you your parking permit there."
At this point I sighed, biting my tongue, and nodded, "Okay. Thank you for your time." I sighed and tried to find in my mind where the Bursar's office was when I remembered there was a desk in University Hall which was great because I had to park there anyway.
Lo and behold: There was no parking and I circled the parking lot for a full 20minutes before simply going back to Lot C and finding a new parking spot FAR away and fearing being late for class. I simply resigned myself to pick it up later so I went to my first class. Anthropology 102, which should be fun.
I was let out of class early so I soon found myself right outside the Bursar's office with enough time before my next class. I walked in, thankful that I was finally get my parking permit, when the lady at the desk told me, "Sorry. We don't do that here. You have to go to parking services and they'll give it to you there."
I honestly could have died right there. THAT WAS THE FIRST QUESTION I ASKED! WHAT THE HECK?!?! WHY IS EVERYONE WRONG?! -_-x sigh. But none the less I sighed, thanked her for her time and smiled before heading off to my next class.
Now the rest of my day seemed alright. My classes make me excited and I couldn't help but be completely enamored with my professors, but it was after my last class that things went awry.
So my last class ended at 5:40 and I had wanted to go to the library before I made my way home. Of course, stepping out of UH I was immediately met by the high winds again and was thrown into the wall by the sheer massive force.
I quickly reevaluated my plans and simply turned the other way.
I braved the high winds and tried to make sure not to get run over, even though it was very hard to see and made my way back to my car. I drove home as fast as I could, again fearing being pushed over by the Santa Ana winds, but safely making it back. I thought, "Finally this day is over."
Well, clearly the day was over, but not my troubles.
Jan. 13, 2009
I woke up early to take my sister to school when I couldn't find my wallet. I searched EVERYWHERE! It was no where to be found and as I sat to try and think where it could be I was suddenly struck with the thought of the high winds.
I remembered that I had pulled out my wallet to retrieve a dollar for a soda and stuck it in the outer pocket of my backpack. Now my pack has a flap, but against the high winds my flap is clearly no match. And I remembered on my way to the car the flap of my backpack being thrust open and having trouble closing it. I was hit with the horrible realization that my wallet must have been blown out of my bag without me knowing.
After that I was near tears. My license, my ID card, my visa card, and a total of six dollars were all there and I was left with nothing. I couldn't drive, I couldn't pay for anything and now I couldn't even borrow books from the library. It was a horrible way to start the day.
I prayed for so long that I would just find it, but when it was obvious that it wasn't anywhere in the house I sighed and simply prayed someone wouldn't take advantage of me and my information. That someone would be a good person and turn it in to campus police who I had given a full report and description to. I still had to be practical though. I canceled my visa card, made an appointment with the dmv and added up the costs of replacing everything I was missing.
Then it was even more frustrating when the Apple store called and told me they had my computer (I had turned it in for repair a week ago). I thought, "Fabulous. I've missed my computer." when they said, "Just bring all your paper work and an ID."
Great. that's just great. The only ID that I had in my possession was from Sophomore year and it was broken. -_-x was this an idea of how the whole week would go? I really hoped not.
Throughout the whole day, I tried to stay positive and keep putting my faith in God. I sang as many praise and worship songs and hymns as I could remember to try and remind myself that God was in control. I went through Blessed Assurance, Amazing grace, Blessed by the name, Come thou Fount, etc. etc. but none the less was still worried.
Later in the day my family successfully distracted me from everything that was bothering me. I got my computer with only slight hesitation from the Apple store guy and we went out to dinner. We hung out with no worries, no troubles and just were together as a family, which felt good. (granted my mother is New Jersey visiting my cousins and we did miss her, but it was still good.)
But then when i got home, I went over all the things that I had to do tomorrow. Like go to school four hours early to buy books and do all the homework that I haven't been able to do. I had to buy a new ID card and hopefully get a book on reserve and...blah. it was just a headache. And I just prayed that God would give me the strength to get through it all.
I decided then to go on myspace because the buddypoke, (which Nikki and i love to respond to each other on) relaxes me.
and when I signed in, i found a new message...
it was amazing
the subject said, "I FOUND YOUR WALLET"
I could hardly contain myself, I opened it and it was true. This girl had found my wallet, inside the UH building and because she couldn't find a number to reach me she decided to try myspace. And she found me.
Not only that, she is a choir student who found my wallet on her way out of choir rehearsal and she said, "Isn't the Lord amazing letting a sister find your wallet?" She's a Christian. haha A Christian who found me and gave me her number so that I could call and arrange a meeting. My heart just swelled to ten times it's size.
God had heard my prayers and he knew that I was in trouble. He delivered in a way that completely and utterly miraculous and out of all of the worldly, college students who could have found my wallet and used my card or worse, found my social security number, a Christian choir girl found it. I had been saved all the trouble in replacing my license and ID card, etc. etc. and I didn't have to worry about it anymore. God had delivered.
I still can't grasp it. God had delivered.
I can't tell you how much in awe I am in right now. I am...in awe.
*sigh*
I'll say it again: God. Is. Good.
God. is REALLY REALLY good.
Wednesday, January 07, 2009
See You Soon
It was an early Tuesday morning,
When you left without a warning,
The nurses had come briskly in the room,
And they told us you were gone,
At first we didn't know what was going on,
But in that moment I thought of you and said, "See you soon."
It didn't erase the pain,
Or dry the tears that came like rain
It didn't lessen the burdening strain
Of losing you.
But the peace that I suddenly found,
As cryptic as it may sound
Kept me planted in the ground
And saw me through,
Now you're in heaven with Jesus
And walking side by side with Him.
Your race has finally be run,
And you've gained the ultimate win.
I miss you more than words can say
But as I hum your favorite tune,
I find solace in the very fact
That I know I'll see you soon.
It was late that Tuesday night
When I decided not to fight
The tears that I had cut short before
And my thoughts raced and ranged
From us, to you, to what's changed
And inside my heart there raged a war
There was a hole cut deep inside
One I couldn't hide as hard as I tried
And I went to sleep tied
With the memory of you,
But thankfully I did hear
The voice in my heart that sounded so near
And It told me not to fear
Then suddenly I knew
That you're in heaven with Jesus
And walking side by side with Him.
Your race has finally be run,
And you've gained the ultimate win.
I miss you more than words can say
But as I hum your favorite tune,
I find solace in the very fact
That I know I'll see you soon.
I look at them knowing they don't understand
The greater scheme of the Father's plan
And keep wondering how different it will be--
For them to grow up not really knowing
The loving woman who was always glowing,
And impacted everyone around her, including me.
I'll make sure they know who you have been
The grandmother who loved them
And unconditionally did till the end--
And in heaven still does to this day.
Yes, when the day comes near
And they ask me why you aren't here
There's only one answer that is clear
And this is what I'll say,
She's in heaven with Jesus
And walking side by side with Him.
Her race has finally be run,
And she's gained the ultimate win.
We miss her more than words can say
But as you learn her favorite tune,
Find solace in the very fact
That we will see her soon.
-aarika
It's difficult to lose a loved one, but the important thing is to remember that this world is temporary and there is an eternal home waiting. My tita joyce is waiting for us and though we miss her she's with God and that's the only place I would ever wish for her to be other than here with us.
Love you. =] Miss you already.
When you left without a warning,
The nurses had come briskly in the room,
And they told us you were gone,
At first we didn't know what was going on,
But in that moment I thought of you and said, "See you soon."
It didn't erase the pain,
Or dry the tears that came like rain
It didn't lessen the burdening strain
Of losing you.
But the peace that I suddenly found,
As cryptic as it may sound
Kept me planted in the ground
And saw me through,
Now you're in heaven with Jesus
And walking side by side with Him.
Your race has finally be run,
And you've gained the ultimate win.
I miss you more than words can say
But as I hum your favorite tune,
I find solace in the very fact
That I know I'll see you soon.
It was late that Tuesday night
When I decided not to fight
The tears that I had cut short before
And my thoughts raced and ranged
From us, to you, to what's changed
And inside my heart there raged a war
There was a hole cut deep inside
One I couldn't hide as hard as I tried
And I went to sleep tied
With the memory of you,
But thankfully I did hear
The voice in my heart that sounded so near
And It told me not to fear
Then suddenly I knew
That you're in heaven with Jesus
And walking side by side with Him.
Your race has finally be run,
And you've gained the ultimate win.
I miss you more than words can say
But as I hum your favorite tune,
I find solace in the very fact
That I know I'll see you soon.
I look at them knowing they don't understand
The greater scheme of the Father's plan
And keep wondering how different it will be--
For them to grow up not really knowing
The loving woman who was always glowing,
And impacted everyone around her, including me.
I'll make sure they know who you have been
The grandmother who loved them
And unconditionally did till the end--
And in heaven still does to this day.
Yes, when the day comes near
And they ask me why you aren't here
There's only one answer that is clear
And this is what I'll say,
She's in heaven with Jesus
And walking side by side with Him.
Her race has finally be run,
And she's gained the ultimate win.
We miss her more than words can say
But as you learn her favorite tune,
Find solace in the very fact
That we will see her soon.
-aarika
It's difficult to lose a loved one, but the important thing is to remember that this world is temporary and there is an eternal home waiting. My tita joyce is waiting for us and though we miss her she's with God and that's the only place I would ever wish for her to be other than here with us.
Love you. =] Miss you already.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)