In Times like These...

I forget where to turn and then I come to blogger and remember that Isaiah 40 is a flippin' amazing chapter.

²⁸ Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.
²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.
³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;
³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

Isaiah 40:28-31

Make Christianity A Race?

So, I was talking to my dad last night and recounting an experience in my government class over the recent decision of the Supreme Court to hold to the Prop 8 decision. A lot of the opinions were that it was a hate crime and that it was discrimination and an injustice etc. etc. Then I went home and was surfing youtube when I came across the Samuel L. Jackson infomercial, you know the one where he talks about how"African-Americans were being denied their rights and it was wrong. So why do the same to Homosexuals?" Now, the problem I have with this propoganda is the fact that suddenly Sexual Preference was a race.

It was then that my dad brought up a funny thought, "Why not claim Christianity as a race? We have rights don't we?"

I of course looked at him like he was crazy and then he went to explain, "God chose us before we were born so we are born into the elect aren't we? If we don't realize it at first it's just us in the closet. When we accept Jesus Christ and confess our faith that's our coming out. So why not claim Christianity as a race?"

Now, he was making a point, but it was an interesting point. One that I had never thought of. Those who are against Prop 8 claim that homosexuals don't choose to be this way and the same could be said for Christians. We do not choose, we are chosen. And also homosexuals may "know from birth" the way they are or come to terms with it later on in life. The same can be said for us, some of us are born into Christian homes and know our whole lives that Jesus died for our sins and some of us come to terms with it later on.

And our opinions and rights are being challenged, even silenced. I mean, look at Miss California. She was attacked for what she believed in, she was verbally abused and continues to be degraded just as well are. "Intolerant Bible huggers" as I once remembering being referred to. And in schools or in our workplaces, our practices, our beliefs, our God is censored and taboo. We are told to keep it down and keep quiet. Do we not have the right to practice religion and free speech?

My life is affected by what I believe in. I lead a different lifestyle too you know.

So why is it a matter of opinion when people don't agree with me and my lifestyle, but it is a matter of prejudice when I don't believe with a Homosexual's lifestyle?

interesting thought.

Found this on Xanga: Dedication of Christ

through all of the aches and pains that our body suffers.
internal. external. emotional. physical.
He sustains through it all
and continues to grant us 
with all the Grace He possesses at the tip of His finger.

in times of stress, when we feel unwilling and selfish
He reminds of the qualities of person that he wants us to have.
love. loyalty. patience. drive. and consideration.
to be light unto this world is to uphold such qualities
not because we have to, but because it's right.
because it is the way God wants it.

at the end of it all, despite the pain and the hurtfullness this world can throw at you.
praise God that He is unwavering in His presence,
and through it all, He walks beside you, yet leads you to Heaven.

Sometimes People Make Sense

"Don't make the world your priority, when to the world you're just an option."

oOo. haha strangely, though it is a variation of it, I found this saying on Facebook.

Flairs can be extremely entertaining sometimes.

Chapter Two: The Light Switch

It was so dark.

I had been left in the darkness for so long, but a hand had taken hold of mine and was leading me through it. There had been times when I had been grabbed by things unknown, things unseen and frightened by the horrors that seemed to want to take me, but this hand made me feel safe so I clung to it.

I clung to that hand, because I knew that there was a man they all talked about, a man who would save me, and I had this overwhelming feeling that this was Him. How could it not be? I could have put my life on the fact that this person guiding me was that man named Jesus and so I trusted that soon enough I would see the light.

I don't know how long it was but all of a sudden I felt a wall on my side. A wall! That must mean there is a door somewhere so I giddily ran my other hand along it, silently thanking God for taking me closer and closer to salvation. Suddenly I ran across a bump in the wall and I stopped moving, feeling it cautiously with my hand to try and understand what it was.

A switch?

Yeah, i think it's a switch.

But what for?

Why would there be a switch? Unless...

A LIGHT SWITCH!

It HAD to be a light switch!

With an overwhelming amount of excitement I took a deep breath, praying that it would work and flipped it, suddenly hit with a blinding flash of white.

And the whole world came into view.

It took a while to adjust but...it was beautiful.

I felt tears fill my eyes, slightly from the fact that I was partially blinded and could not make out anything I was seeing, but mostly because I was so in awe. After what seemed like an eternity in the darkness, I could see. I could see everything.

I then realized that my hand was still gripping Jesus' hand and I had to thank Him, after all, it was because of Him that I had found my way to the wall and subsequently to the light switch. In a flurry of happiness I turned the words, "Thank you," nearly off my tongue when I froze and I felt things suddenly dim and my heart rate slow to almost a dead stop.

This hand that I had been clinging to; this person that I had been so convinced was Jesus....wasn't.

This was not a nail pierced hand, it was something else.

Someone else.

Someone who, even now , is physically fleeting and unmemorable, but did have one thing that sticks in my memory, which was the shirt he was wearing. White with big block letters that read, "I Mean The World To You." And I felt sick to my stomach.

I had been so fooled. I had been so wrong!

How could I have thought that this was Jesus guiding me? How could I have believed so thoroughly that it was Him? Why had I not discerned that it might not be? How?

And then I looked at the words on his shirt again, the daunting and horribly blunt words, "I Mean The World To You," and realized why it had been so easy. Why I had been fooled.

It was because I had foolishly believed that I could tell. That I could just know without asking and that there really was no point to asking, because I knew. Or at least, I thought I did. I trusted...in an assumption. The assumption that I knew God's plan in anyway, and why?

I'll tell you why.

Because that assumption and everything that I came to believe and trust in through it. Meant the world to me.

Maybe it even meant more.

So, as I realized this, I looked at the hand that I had been clinging so vehemently to and studied it, squinting as my eyes still tried to adjust to the lack of darkness. I was remembering the warmth and the comfort it brought me. Remembering that it hadn't ever done anything wrong and it could have led me to the wall and to the switch...but no.

I had to stop being foolish. I had to stop assuming and instead, go and find God for myself so that I could cling to Him and find all my answers in Him. I had to do it and do it fast...or else someone might just switch the light off, and I couldn't go back to the dark.

I just couldn't.

So, hesitantly and painfully I tried to pull my hand away. Finding it difficult as this person clung to my hand to. "Please just let go!" I said, tugging my hand away but failing miserably as he seemed to adamantly refuse. "LET GO! WHY WON'T YOU JUST LET GO?" But he held on, looking at me blankly. Almost as if there really was no strain on him.

Finally his eyes met mine and asked in a strange and calm sort of way, "Do you want me to let go?"

I looked at him as if he was crazy and nodded, "Of course! Yes! I want you to let go!"

"Okay," He said calmly again, "Well I will, when you do. I'll let go of you, when you let go of me."

And he left it at that. Watching me; gauging my reaction as I ran through his words in my head.

'I'll let go of you, when you let go of me.'

'I will, when you do.'

And then I loosened my grip, finding that as I did this so did he and our hands slipped apart, freeing me from the confines of his hold.

Had I really not been doing that before? Was it really that simple?

But I didn't want to wait around and ask, so I backed away from him slowly, wondering if he would follow me as I leaned up against the wall where the switch was and began to shimmy away. He only watched me as I went, made no move until I was meters away, a good distance to run and get away if he chose to try and capture me again. But then he did the strangest thing. He walked over to the light switch, smiled at me and waved before reaching over and flipping it.

I jumped, thinking that the lights would go off, but no. They didn't. And instead he disappeared with a pop, as if, when he flipped the switch, he went off instead of the lights.

My head was spinning from the sheer audacity of the whole situation and I closed my eyes to try and steady my thoughts, it all was just so much to take in. But with a sigh I turned away from where he had been and took a look at the expanse in front of me. Smiling slightly as it all was clear, my eyes adjusted. In the distance I could make out something, a large sign that read, "Got questions? I've Got answers." And laughed shaking my head as I realized that there was no clearer sign than that. That was where I had to go, and though it was long way from where I was, at least there was nothing to weigh me down.

Before heading out I took a glance behind me, wondering if that guy with the shirt was back and waiting to follow me. But he wasn't; he was gone and I was left alone again, in the light this time, with the whole beautiful world in view.

And with a sigh I looked ahead, taking the first few steps toward answers.

In Need of Refuge

So, I think I have found a second job.

It's all so overwhelming, but I believe it is necessary.

God showed me an opportunity and I just could not let it pass.

He's proven to be sustaining, so I have to trust that He will always be as such.

I'm tired just thinking about it, but...I'm excited. This could turn out to be a really big blessing in the end.

my prayer request for this week is: to be sustained in strength.

-aarika

Mama's Day...

I honestly think that because I've spent the majority of my life listening to music and trying to pick out vocal parts I find it very easy to identify voices. So I shouldn't be surprised that people's voices are very easy to remember. It's always been a blessing; very helpful in every musical aspect...

But it also...never ceases to hit me at randomly horrible times as well.

Take today for instance: we went to Forest Lawn and, at first, it was fantastic. Being with the family, enjoying a celebration of Mothers. But it was as I was walking to the car and thinking back to last mother's day that her voice came back.

My Tita Joyce.

I don't remember much of what happened last year, but it just came as a very weary, "Thank you." With a giggle. Her giggle. And it suddenly was hard to breathe. I find it happening a lot lately too. The other day I was on yahoo games randomly and found myself playing Bookworm. I could just hear telling me about it. She was the one that introduced me to it and I can just hear her, "Aarika it's a good game! It helps you practice your words."

Wow. That was such a long time ago.

I miss her so much. At times more so than others. But, even still, it's in those moments that I wish I could just forget.

It's a bittersweet and painful.

overwhelming and debilitating.

And then there are those moments when I'm with my family...singing and I swear I can hear her voice. Her alto ringing out and helping me find the part and I just have to accept it, because I would rather remember wishing to forget than to have forgotten and be desperate to remember.

Stump The Professor

Thursday was National Prayer Day and Campus Crusade for Christ at my school had Jon Rittenhouse come for an open discussion about any questions people had about God, religion, the Christian faith, ANYTHING! And he was giving away gift cards.

So I went. Skipped my Chem class for it and sat in a room that's maximum capacity was over 300.

There was about 15 of us. =P But that's 15 lives that God compelled so that's good enough for me.

Anyway, there was a Professor sitting down the row from me and I could tell he was there purely because he was very skeptical and he brought up the question, "What do you mean by Atheism isn't the best intellectual position?"

And Prof. Jon Rittenhouse, who is a Philosophy professor at Biola said this:

"Atheism, when broken down is "A" which means "without" and "Theism" which means "God" therefore, "Atheism" is the belief that there is no God. But the statement that "there is no God" is a universal negative and to back it up you would have to ensure that there is no evidence to refute it. One piece of evidence that points to God would refute the entire thing. Now if we say that God is within the universe, (I believe He is also outside the universe, but for this example let's say he's within.) To ensure the truth of that universal negative you would have to examine 100% of the information of the universe. Albert Einstein, a genius, was reported to know 2% of the world's knowledge. So, is it possible for there to be evidence pointing to God in the 98% of unknown information?

The answer? Yes.

And the only person who is capable of knowing 100% of the Universe information is God, therefore He is the only one capable of stating: "There is no God." Though, I highly doubt he would say that."

Hah. It was a good talk. There were a lot questions that came up and he had an answer for everything backed with incredibly amounts of Biblically Historical information. I was impressed and very glad that I skipped Chem.

There were a few things that I didn't know if I agreed with him. Some of his statements on free will and also a theory on whether or not young children will be raptured, but that just fuels my own desire to research.

One piece of information I did find extremely interesting was this:

85% of people in America believe in God
95% of people in America believe that Jesus is coming back

How the heck does that happen?

Well, I'll talk more about this later. I got kids to babysit. =P
I miss Bible Study already.

Prayer Meeting

I, strangely, found myself at prayer meeting last night.

Usually i don't go because it's a really big drive to go out there, especially since I'm slowly running out of gas money and i already drive out for Tuesday Night Fellowship and Friday Night Bible Study.

But I was there last night. And I gave my prayers up to God, the prayers that had been burdening me for weeks, then I woke up this morning and felt that they were answered.

God is so good.
God is so good.
God is so good
He's so good
To me.

Going Back

so here's how it went:

"hey dude i missed you."

"i just like hanging out."

"where do you want to sit?"

"ours was better"

"they are so much better than us."

"ditcher."

"i'm a proud mama"

"woot."

"has he always been so masochistic?"

"didn't you hear the whistling?"

"answer you're question?"

"what question?"

"that was not your question."

"you're right."

"this is so over."

"star trek"

"i thought you said you weren't going."

"later. i'll call you, we'll hang out."

from there voices dimmed
as did the lights
and there faded the choir career of 74 seniors
some happy. some sad.
some nostalgic. some ready to break out.

in the end as i pulled out of the parking lot--
i realized what it was i missed about high school.
it wasn't the music. and it wasn't even the times with people i had graduated with.
it was more like the people i left behind.
now would i go back?
heck no,

but thankfully i don't have to.
thankfully...they all seem to be coming to me.

ahbooyah.