Tuesday, September 29, 2009

close encounters of the academic kind...

so the new quarter has started and I find myself with 3 on-campus classes, one lab on a different day than all of my other classes, and an online class. 17 units in all to add into the mix with my two jobs and crazy inability to say "no, sorry, I don't have time". In all honesty, looking back on my last post, I think I was more stressed with the idea of the impending quarter and the uncertainty of if I could deal with all of it. I was more inclined to believe that I was biting off WAY more than I could chew. But now, as I slowly inch forward day by day, it doesn't look so bad...and it could be worse. =P.

Anyway, to recap on my life thus far: I couldn't take 102 Japanese because I haven't taken 101 so I switched into a 101 French Class where my teacher is black with a british accent that disappears when she speaks french. She also likes to dance as she talks as a way to help us with our memorization.


I find the french accent and pronunciation hard because it requires you to lose some consonants while changing the
sound of most of the vowels. WEIRD.

And to top it off, it's an 8am class. Hopefully that won't come back to bite me in the butt.

Anyway, then there is my Geology class with my motorcyle driving professor leatham who looks like Jeff Foxworthy (to the left) with Shawn Wallace's voice (to the right). It's really hard to concentrate with him because, not only do I keep thinking about what a weird mix of them he really is, he is also just WEIRD in general. In class today he totally ate chalk. He was trying to make a point...and I got it...but come on! CHALK? Haha.

And of course there is my subsequent Geology Lab with my very very VERY Canadian Professor Ross, I say that because he has got to have the thickest GENUINE Canadian accent I've ever heard, with "Eh?" And "aGAIN." It's so crazy...and I have weird flashbacks of Degrassi and Anne of Green Gables.

My online course is a MUS 180 class that's basically vocab and definitions submitted online as well as required attendance to 5 concerts this year. I really really REALLY want to go to the B.B. King Concert later in November, but it's expensive...I'll just have to pink up two extra shifts to pay for it. mMm good. I can feel the exhaustion now. =D

Finally there is my Creative Writing Class, the focus being poetry. My teacher is nice, as are my classmates, but I have to say it is truly an experiecne not being the only one in my major. It's downright foreign if you ask me. Why? Well, because for the first time, I'm not alone, and...I'm not that special now. Haha, i know, it soudns kind of petty, but you have to understand, I've always been the only one that's been a creative writing major with the goal of being a writer. There has always only ever been me, and now I'm in a class of 23 where more than 50% is the same. It'll take some getting used to...and I think once I prove not just to them but to myself that we actually are not the same, I'm distinct and different, then I'll be able to get ouf of this writing funk.

And that is my school career as of now. We'll see how it progresses over the next ten weeks.

Until next time
-later days


Wednesday, September 23, 2009

overwhelmed.

So, I've been lying to myself lately.

I've been trying to convince myself that I'm okay and that I can do it all...but I can't.

I'm cracking under the pressure that I place on myself and I just want to find rest in God. I want to be able to enjoy the moments I'm being given...not spend every one of them with my mind going eighty miles a second trying to get everything done. *sigh* I just feel like I have no time to stop and take a breath because if I do, then I'll fall behind. Or worse.

I'll stay behind.

I just want to breathe again. I want to feel so immersed in the spirit that I'm fueled and awake. Sometimes it's like I'm not even there. I just walk around looking as though I know what I'm doing when in all actuality I'm losing my footing and unsure of which way is up or down. Do I go forward? Or take a step back? Am I standing up? Or am I flat on the ground? Where am I? Where are you?

Goodness. Sometimes you just get so caught up in all the work that you lose sight of why you're doing it. Not because you simply want to or have to pick up the slack because no else is doing it. But because it's what God wants for you and how it all falls into place seamlessly because of it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm pushing it. forcing it. maybe even running head first into a glass door and not being able to grasp the idea that I can't get through until I open it. I've been feeling that way lately and just looking for a moment to truly stop and breathe.

Matthew 11:28-29 28"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.


So Lord I come with this in my heart. I need rest.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

and so, the season ends.

Nicole Nordman once said in one of her songs that:

"Time brings change. And change takes time."

I think this summer I've seen more change than I could even imagine having time for, but...what can you do?

This is what I do:

haha. Here it goes.

Time ticks on and on.
I see moments pass me by in an instant
As the sun continues to set from east to west.

There are many things that I can't change,
Like the fact that each day I'm another day older.
Or the fact that things won't ever be the way they were--
last year, last month, last week, or yesterday.

I can't even change the fact that things are always changing.

it's really ironic actually.
When you think about it...

Change is constant.

Change is consistent.

We consistently change.

How about that?

Sunday, September 06, 2009

God Fufillis His Promises...

Through those who are faithful and willing to follow.

I stood, seemingly alone, on a hilltop,
Looking over the expanse of land set before me,
a world waiting to be seen--
to be mapped out.

And it all looked so BIG,
so endless--
so vast.

Vast enough to swallow me whole if I wasn't careful

And yet it couldn't.
It wouldn't.
Why?
Because you are there.

You are constantly there
And how can I fear the possibilities...
When I have you leading the way?

Thursday, September 03, 2009

Amazing

This song has always been one of my favorite OP songs ever recorded, because the words are simple and yet speaks the truth about God's greatness.

Amazing
Ordinary People (Generation 2)

V1:
This is amazing to me,
That such love, such caring, such sacrifice
Could be offered despite
Everything we are
And this is amazing to me, yeah...

Chorus:
Amazing,
Truly astounding
Crazy that love surrounds me
Though I know I've done nothing to deserve
Your love is priceless
Your greatness unmatched amazing
Truly amazing, yeah

V2:
Now I have been made free
Through love, through caring, through sacrifice
You have given me life
Lord you I know are why
I have been made free
And this is amazing to me

Chorus:
Amazing,
Truly astounding
Crazy that love surrounds me
Though I know I've done nothing to deserve
Your love is priceless
Your greatness unmatched amazing
Truly amazing, yeah

Bridge:
Amazing (Have I said it enough
Amazing (It's not enough)
So I offer what words of worship I can
Magnificent!
Glorious!
Worthy!

Bridge 2:
Amazing!
Amazing!
Amazing!
It's not enough! No!

Chorus:
Amazing,
Truly astounding
Crazy that love surrounds me
Though I know I've done nothing to deserve
Your love is priceless
Your greatness unmatched amazing
Truly amazing, yeah
(x2)

Amazing Amazing...(x4)