overwhelmed.

So, I've been lying to myself lately.

I've been trying to convince myself that I'm okay and that I can do it all...but I can't.

I'm cracking under the pressure that I place on myself and I just want to find rest in God. I want to be able to enjoy the moments I'm being given...not spend every one of them with my mind going eighty miles a second trying to get everything done. *sigh* I just feel like I have no time to stop and take a breath because if I do, then I'll fall behind. Or worse.

I'll stay behind.

I just want to breathe again. I want to feel so immersed in the spirit that I'm fueled and awake. Sometimes it's like I'm not even there. I just walk around looking as though I know what I'm doing when in all actuality I'm losing my footing and unsure of which way is up or down. Do I go forward? Or take a step back? Am I standing up? Or am I flat on the ground? Where am I? Where are you?

Goodness. Sometimes you just get so caught up in all the work that you lose sight of why you're doing it. Not because you simply want to or have to pick up the slack because no else is doing it. But because it's what God wants for you and how it all falls into place seamlessly because of it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm pushing it. forcing it. maybe even running head first into a glass door and not being able to grasp the idea that I can't get through until I open it. I've been feeling that way lately and just looking for a moment to truly stop and breathe.

Matthew 11:28-29 ²⁸"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. ²⁹Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.

So Lord I come with this in my heart. I need rest.