finally caught within the orbit.

man. nothing like a good weekend of fellowship to put everything back into perspective.

I'm not going to lie, I had my reservations about what I had gotten myself into. Even my last post I was knee deep in anxieties over the overwhelming number of obstacles that seemed to keep knocking at my door but...if there was anything I learned from this weekend it's that the fear of failure and the tendencies of doubt, busyness, and loneliness are mere excuses for a lack of trust and faith.

There are times when some of the situations I get myself into make me question EVERYTHING. But then God hits me with chances of pure and unsolicited opportunities through His pure and unsolicited grace.

And through the entire thing He shows me just how big His plan is and how I'm a part of it. A big part of it.

Revolve Tour was something I had my heart set on since last year when I attended women of faith. I had this vision of CFBC girls going on being impacted by the simple stories of simple sinners just like us and God gave me the chance to make it happen. Granted the age difference in a lot of who attended was a bit off but...it happened and it was beautiful.

And at the same time God shed light on a bigger dream that I have for myself; one I think He has been revealing to me little by little ever since Women of Faith last year.

I have this yearning to share the Gospel on as big scale as He will allow and that includes one day being a part of a ministry like Revolve and Women of Faith.

See, now I've got this new dream. With this new desire for all of the people in my life and it's said best by Paul in my favorite book of the bible:

Philippians 1:8-10
⁸God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus.⁹And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, ¹⁰so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ,

And it's not just my desire for others but the desire for myself. To seek Him and know Him more. To use my talents and my ambitions for the glory of God in a scale bigger than myself. Because I've got all of this energy that is being spread out thinly across the board for this world and regardless of the intentions they are worldly. And unworthy.

But I want that to change.

I. Want to change.

So that is my prayer. That my love for God grows just as the desire to love Him and know Him more grows. One thing I'm gladly taking away from this weekend is something that Austin said.

"doing things bigger than yourself is not based on your ABILITY, but your AVAILABILITY."

Lord I'm leaving myself open to you. Keep me in Your pull and You at the center of my orbit.