"stop dwelling" she said.

it's hard to imagine that just a few precious months ago, we made a pact to never forget what we shared. to always be there for each other and to, no matter what, understand despite the difficult nature of it all. now. all that is different, and we've grown into different people. you stand before me preaching how much more worth there is to your life and i stand before you saying how much less of a person i feel. and you know what you say. you say it's my fault. my fault for not growing up.

so i've realized. maybe you're right.

i've let myself wish a for a never ending friendship.
blinded by the hope that we would never lose each other.
But you've made it increasingly clear that...i've been a fool.
to hold on to such childish fancies, and to entertain thoughts of past...
is a fruitless battle.
and the fact that i'm the only one willing to participate,
makes it even more of a loss.

you've got to put your past behind you. and, i don't think you realize, that when you say that to me, you're asking me to put you behind me. you're asking me to walk away from everything we promised we would cherish. but again. maybe you're right.

feeling cut off when you're so desperatley trying not to be...bears pain.

but being cut off...is beatable.