In a nutshell?

I've started teaching:

Effective Writing for 2nd year BS-ED majors & Study 

and Thinking Skills for 1st year BS-IT majors

I sing in church choir

...and usually whenever my cousins need an alto harmony

I've been bonding

with my family

with my students

with God

And I've been trying to figure out what else to say.

There seems to be so much and yet nothing comes out.

Hopefully, in the morning I'll be able to push through and articulate myself better.

But for the moment, that's all I got.

See you later! 

Proud mama.

last night was Cassie's last choir concert ever and she completely rocked it. =D

It's strange to think that four years have passed by in such a flash. When I think back on it all it is just too crazy for words sometimes....

But getting to watch Cassie take that stage as a senior, as a Madrigal, as a four-year choir member, and being able to do it side by side with her best and closest friends in the world made me choke up a little.

I've always been pinned as matronly. Motherly I guess. I have a bad habit of being a mom to everyone, but I just can't help it. I have a habit of getting involved and I believe everyone needs someone to be proud of them sometimes, and yet not everyone has somebody.

Granted, my sister and her friends all have great support systems and a great number of friends who are all proud of them. But that doesn't erase the fact that I am to.

I am very proud of all those high schoolers who have accomplished four years of hard work. I am proud that they ended strong that they have grown so much, with so much in store for them in the future. And I'm also glad that I got to watch them do it. I love you guys.

To my sister, even though we don't get along sometimes. I am so proud of you. And I love you.

interesting couple of days.

so this year i decided to take up the request of a few friends of mine as well as the request of my high school choir director and venture back into time through the hallowed hall that holds Elizabethan Dinner. Not as a guest this year...no. As the help.

Haha it was an interesting experience. One that I wasn't sure if I really wanted since I'm very adamant about the fact that, as much as I enjoyed high school, I would not do it again.

But as the days have progressed I find myself realizing, once again, that it was never the experience that I missed but the people I experienced it with. Granted, those who are left behind are older now. Filling the shoes of those of us who have passed on (that makes it sound like we died haha). But still, they are the same people. The same kids who I remember meeting when they were freshman. Before they were new and wide-eyed but now are veterans of the era and are reveling in the spoils that come with the ever coveted and highly valuable "seniority".

I was asked last night and I have asked many of my own friends this who are similarly involved, "Is it weird being back?" And the answer is: "Always. But it's got a nice vibe to it." So, the fact is it's nice being back because at least it's not totally back.

I mean, as an alumni I can honestly go about my business with the secure knowledge that I am an adult and am here to consult and execute not be told and follow orders. I am no longer a student but a member of our psuedo-"staff" and that's always fun. There is a sort of power in that which I had a taste of back in senior year, but ultimately there was no bigger picture back then. It was all cut and dry. Perform. perform. perform.

Now, on the other side it's just a lot more than that. The work may be a little harder but the reward is a justification of it. And what is this reward you ask? It's the fact that I get to see my sister, who has worked for three years to make it into the Madrigals, finally be up there on stage in a royal court dress. My sister, who achieved what I couldn't and was not able to do. Who has always been a better singer than me and is now being recognized for her talent. My sister who gets to sing the ever famous "Silent Night" in the Elizabethan Dinner show and be a part of the magic that can change a lot of kids' attitude towards choir.

And also it's getting to see my brother. My little brother who is just starting off on his choir adventure. Who is being forced to serve food to guests because he has no seniority, but in the process building bonds with boys and girls who will be there throughout his high school career and most undoubtedly help shape him as a performer.

The reward is being able to experience something with both of them at the same time. It really is nice to have this one thing, since (because of the age gaps) we haven't been involved in a similar school since elementary. I can't even tell you how much I praise God for the experience and also the opportunity to bond with my siblings over something that has shaped both the lives of Cassie and I and will shape Garrett's life in the future. This is something we all share that isn't family related and for the first time in years I feel the age gap getting smaller and smaller.

My siblings and I have never been as close as I would hope. We fight a lot. We hurt each other a lot. We try to pull the wool over the other all the time. But we still love eacch other. That's never going to change and this time together has just reaffirmed that. We are family. No matter what.

In Search of Thanks

Come Thou Fount Of Every Blessing

Come Thou fount of every blessing
Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Streams of mercy never ceasing
Call for songs of loudest praise
Teach me some melodious sonnet
Sung by flaming tongues above
I'll praise the mount I'm fixed upon it
Mount of Thy redeeming love

Here I raise my Ebenezer
Hither by Thy help I come
And I hope by Thy good pleasure
Safely to arrive at home
Jesus sought me when a stranger
Wondering from the fold of God
He, to rescue me from danger
Interposed His precious blood

O to grace how great a debtor
daily I'm constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to Thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it,
prone to leave the God I love

Here's my heart Lord, take and seal it,
seal it for Thy courts above

Going Back

so here's how it went:

"hey dude i missed you."

"i just like hanging out."

"where do you want to sit?"

"ours was better"

"they are so much better than us."

"ditcher."

"i'm a proud mama"

"woot."

"has he always been so masochistic?"

"didn't you hear the whistling?"

"answer you're question?"

"what question?"

"that was not your question."

"you're right."

"this is so over."

"star trek"

"i thought you said you weren't going."

"later. i'll call you, we'll hang out."

from there voices dimmed
as did the lights
and there faded the choir career of 74 seniors
some happy. some sad.
some nostalgic. some ready to break out.

in the end as i pulled out of the parking lot--
i realized what it was i missed about high school.
it wasn't the music. and it wasn't even the times with people i had graduated with.
it was more like the people i left behind.
now would i go back?
heck no,

but thankfully i don't have to.
thankfully...they all seem to be coming to me.

ahbooyah.