"A short story is a different thing all together - a short story is like a kiss in the dark from a stranger."
So, if you haven't heard yet, I'm trying to be a writer. Okay. let's scratch that. I am "aspiring" to be a writer. And so, my last few years here at CSUSB have been chock full of fiction and literature classes that give me the suitable deadlines I need to give birth to some of my most painfully pushed out work. It also has allowed me to produce some my best. (in my opinion of course) And so, in my attempt to write another story, this time focused in on the "Ghost Story" genre, I look to one of the most creatively sick geniuses this world has to offer. Mr. Stephen King, who elevated himself to a 100 on my awesome scale of 1 - 10 (100 because he has already well surpassed the highest standard) with this comment:
"Both Rowling and Meyer, they're speaking directly to young people. ... The real difference is that Jo Rowling is a terrific writer and Stephanie Meyer can't write worth a darn. She's not very good."
- Stephen King
What can I say? The man knows his stuff. And if God can bless me with at least a fraction of his good fortune. I might just be able to fulfill my life long dream after all.
Exhausted by the racing of my mind to the point where I have begun to veer in different directions.
Have I taken on too much? Perhaps loaded myself more than I should have? Well, I should think not, only because there is very little difference in my load from them and my load now.
Maybe it's all simply catching up to me? That, at this moment in time, I have become too tired to carry on and my speed has reduced.
Reduced enough to leave me at the mercy Of my failings?
Strange that it happen now, In the days where I need to be at my best. It's the final--push-- the final countdown-- the final lap...
But perhaps there is a reason for that. Perhaps it is time to become even more serious. There is no going back from here therefore I've got to decide how I want to finish.
Strong. Fighting. With everything I've got.
Or slow. Steady. And nonchalant.
Hm. Doesn't seem like a hard decision... until you're faced with the crossroad and the easier way seems to be a road that moves for you.
Professor Luck: "I want you to write a passage about someone you know, create a character sketch of that person that truly shows rather than tells the character of this person. Be specific. This is one of the key things that fiction writers use, and when you're good at it, it really can make or break a piece."
~~~~~
We were driving to church in her beloved, beat up car, trading stories from the past week. I told her about the 3 pages I wrote then tossed out, while she rallied back with the video she took of herself dancing, but wasn't going to put up online.
"Why not?" I asked her. "I'm sure it's good."
"Psh." She scoffed, shaking her head. "No way girlfriend! Trust. It's just me jumping around like a fool. No one wants to see that!"
She parked her car in the empty lot and sat back in her chair, letting the engine and radio run below our conversation like elevator music. Neither of us moved to leave, instead finding solace to just sit in silence before I turned to her and sighed. "You're crazy wildcat." I told her. "What are you afraid of?"
She laughed out loud and shook her head at me, the smile taking over her entire face. "No, you're crazy 'wildcat'! Believe me, it's just nothing post worthy."
I rolled my eyes. "You gotta get over it man. You're good! Just own it!"
But she only laughed again, as if my confidence in her was completely ridiculous. She shook her head as she giggled and sighed melodramatically. "Just drop it man. I'll do it when I've got something good, don't you--AHHHH!"
The scream came so suddenly that I couldn't stop the laugh that tumbled from my lips. "What?!" I cried out but she only leaned forward and turned up the volume of her radio, screaming out, "I LOVE THIS SONG!!" She began to sway from side to side, letting the music take over her mood. She closed her eyes as she mouthed along with the words of the singer and gestured wildly with her hands creating spirals and shapes in the air as she completely let go to the song.
I sat back and shook my head, feeling my own body start to sway as the song continued. But my eyes stayed glued to her as she continued moving.
I had to smile because she looked so happy.
~~~~~
Dedicated and written for the unforgettable bestie that has blessed me: RJuice/RJeans/RJeanius/RJeezy/Richelle
So, my sleeping schedule has been a little ridiculous:
The earlier I sleep, the easier it is to sleep through the night.
The later I sleep....well...the earlier I wake up.
Gah! How fair is that?!?
Ah well. What can you do about it? I will say this though. Waking up earlier gets me some uninterrupted computer time with the internet all to myself. XD "nax! what a bonus!" So, let's do a quick recap on yesterday...or rather the today that happened yesterday, and when I am able to find the camera later, I'll add pictures.
But here's what to expect in my next post: [these are not pictures I took, just ones i found. The ones i took will be posted, but they pretty much are summed by these ones.]
Our trip to Ocean Park Where we encountered fish that eat dead skin for 120ph/20 minutes (or 10 minutes with purchase of Ocean Park Ticket And also, an AMAZING and soothing Jellyfish display Then our venture into the Mall of Asia where we got a little something for one of my dearest cousins. Then trekked to TriNoma just end our day with the Ju-Ju Boy worn out and cranky. Good day. Hopefully I'll have pictures up soon.
I am putting up a VLOG! Yes. I thought it would be cool to put up a short vlog about where I'm staying and who I'm staying with.
God has been so good to me in this experience and since I can't seem to upload the pictures of my AMAZING discovery today, I figure I'll try again tomorrow and put up my Vlog instead. I pray that it will be the first of many and that the connection here won't be too slow that it'll be really difficult.
"I can't expose a human weakness on the stage unless I know it through having it myself." - Tennessee Williams -
The last few weeks have been oddly eye-opening.
And, as of late, I've come to find out a few things about myself that, aren't necessarily new, but...bigger than I thought them to be. More important, if you will.
So what's the next step?
Not sure. But, at this moment in time, I think I'm just going to ride it out as best I can and see where God's leading. Because, quiet honestly, I have no idea what's going on. Just that so far the ride has been enlightening, terrifying, and extremely fun.
5am-8am: Work [yuck.] 9:20-10:30am: Theater Arts 260 [i am officially in LOVE with this class] 10:40-11:50am: English 301B [poetry class] 11:50-1:10pm: My Lunch Break. [campus is expensive] 1:20-2:10pm: Psych 115 [it's my "feelings" class] 2:40-3:50pm: English 418
[fiction writing] 4:00-5:50pm My Nap time [my car needs to get more comfortable]
6:00-9:50pm Art 123 [Art & technology]
And it is OFFICIALLY a new quarter.Honestly? I've never been so stoked for school before.
The first day is ALWAYS the first impression and, for me, it's when I realize whether or not I'm going to be pulling my hair out by midterms or consistently excited to start my days.
Now, in starting ANY new school term, there are 3 Important Factors that I ALWAYS consider: 1. Interest in the Subject If you go into a class with the mindset that you DON'T want to be there, you are totally and completely setting yourself up for failure. A class you don't want to be in will always stay that way, so you will be prone to bow out, either early or entirely, or you'll just be mad the whole time and not get anything done. Granted, there will always be those subjects that you can't avoid. Classes you HAVE to take for GE credit or as a prerequisite etc. etc. It's a part of college, but...that's why this next one is SO important: 2.Professor If don't like your professor, you will NOT do well in the class. A disliked Professor is one that is easily tuned out and, though it can be their fault for being uncharismatic and boring, you've got to work with it. Partner an uninteresting subject with an uninteresting professor and you've got a high risk Fail in the making.
But a GREAT Professor can make even the most boring subjects bearable. I hated taking Biology, especially when I learned I had to take capstone class, I was ready to cry. But my teacher was awesome and she made everyday fun and easy to understand and she was prone to cutting class short. Therefore? I got an A. Perfect example. KNOW YOUR PROFESSORS.
and 3. Familiar Faces
Being alone in a class that you don't want to be in or in a class where you have a professor that you don't want to be with is extremely uncomfortable. That's why it pays to make friends in your classes, and in your department. This way, even if you suffer, you have someone to do it with. And when you need to study, you don't have to make awkward advances towards classmates you have never met. When you've got a partner you are set. ESPECIALLY for those taboo moments like: Group projects [bleh]
So, always try to find someone you know in class. If you don't, then obviously it's time to make a friend, because I promise, having a partner to sit next to and to study with makes midterms, finals, and quizzes a LOT more enjoyable.
Take for example my French 102 class:
I am NOT great with Foreign languages, and during French 101, I was blessed with a very forgiving Professor who liked me. Therefore, she helped me a lot. BUT I was concerned about when I went on to 102. What if this teacher didn't help me? And what if I failed! Thankfully, not only was Professor Wolfgang really nice, I was in the class with about 1/2 of my French 101 class. Having them all there, made it a lot easier to talk freely and without nerves. They weren't judging me because they knew what I was going through. They were my class friends and now, I see them outside of French in OTHER classes and we suffer through THOSE classes together now to.
So what's my rating of this quarter when considering my THREE very important factors?
Well, I don't know who this baby is, but he's got the right idea. HAHA
Two thumbs up. This quarter rates high on the awesome scale. Not only do I have an immense interest in all of my classes, (especially my theater and english classes) I also love each of my professors. I don't get bad vibes and they know their stuff. Granted there may be one that will flip on me throughout the quarter, but I can roll with the punches. And of course, in each of my classes, save for one, I have at least one buddy from last quarter.
In the words of Miley Cyrus [who's new movie my sister is begging me to take her to]
"Mix it all together and you know you got..." what? HAHAHAHAHA woot. As corny as it is...let's pray it stays that way. =D
whenever I've seen those bulletins online that say to "mark" all of the things off some list that start off the with the request:
"finish this sentence: ice ice _____"
then moves on to mention the existence and coolness of yo-yos, skip it, and the rubix cube, I'll admit, they would age me. But moreover, they reminded me of everything I used to love about television and entertainment.
Recently, upon being reminded once more to truly think back on it all, I realized, especially in looking at what plagues our tv's now, that my childhood was a good one.
I mean, the majority of my time was spent in front of the television and I will say, I was a very happy child because of it. Granted, I have glasses and an extremely over-active imagination to show for it, but I was happy.
And lately, now, I find it hard to find something GOOD to watch, which makes me sad. -_-x
I mean, all there is now are the melodramatic sagas of teenagers with babies and small town supercouples that go against all odds, as well as hard-boiled detectives that use the system and their influence to cover for each other's mistakes. And that's all great...in moderation. But all the time? It's no wonder that our society is the way it is: desensitized to violence, corruption, and sex.
That's all we watch. Everything has a compromise. But what happened to the good old days when it was just plain entertainment? When it was funny and moral and just plain...good?
What happened to shows on -->Come on! You remember, things like:
When Melissa Joan Heart really did Explain it All...
When Larisa Oleynik was the original American Teenager with a secret life. Only her secret was WAY cooler...
And Shelby Woo was the only detective we trusted.
And let's not forget what came before Survivor and Fear Factor.
Remember Legends of the Hidden Temple? Or "GUTS"? with it's big huge glowing mountain that was begging to be conquered?
What happened to all of that?
And why is Saturday Night Live the ONLY live sketch show that survived through our times?
The cast of All That were my heroes
And RoundHouse...well, they made me want to be a performer. Crystal Lewis has always been my idol.the 90's were a time where things were just good. Baggy pants and rainbow colored collared shirts and all...they were good. And they knew what good tv was.
see?
*sigh* I don't know. I guess it's just a shame that the state of television today is where it is. And I wonder if my younger cousins, nephews and nieces now are going to talk about Hannah Montana and Spongebob as fondly as I talk about Pinky and the Brain and Rocko's Modern Life.
I wonder if Wizards of Waverly Place is going to make as big an impact as Sabrina the Teenage Witch?
Is 90210 and Life Unexpected as good as Boy Meets World and Full House?
And will Degrassi and Secret Life of the American Teenager be the moral lessons for teens now as Roundhouse was for me?
I don't know. I just don't know. But I guess they will have to be.
I will say this though. I miss those shows....a lot. Rest In Peace my dear childhood. And may you forever live in my memory. =P
From books to lyrics to scripts to quotes, I find that, despite there being times when it feels like there are no words, saying that "there are no words" is enough.
Those are the words. And therein lies my absolute favorite paradox. =D
Anyway, moving on. Despite my love for words, I will admit that at times I can utterly loath the sight of them. It's what happens when you live the life that I live since after most nights this is me:yeah. real attractive right? But what can I say? Even an English Major has trouble keeping up with reading. And yet...I still find solace and comfort in reading.
I want to spend the rest of my life surrounded by books even though, at the present time, I loathe them. Hah. Another paradox. But this is how I imagine my life to be:
With my own personal library Stacks and stacks of books And I do mean Books EVERYWHERE. (these stairs are so awesome) Even in my bedroom And in my bed. (HAHA) So, despite my overwhelming reading list, I still love reading something new. And I suspect I will always be that way. God is so good for the love and passion He has given to me. And one day, God-willing, my dream of contributing my words to the words of the greats will be fulfilled through His mercy. This is what I think God is telling me: And who am I to question Him?
Currently reading: The Bible "Seek ye out the book of the Lord, and read." Isaiah 34:16
The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King "Eccentricty had flowered into madness."
The Eye of Jade by Diane Wei Liang "With new freedom and opportunities came new crimes. There would be much that she could do." Fearless by Max Lucado "Fear corrodes our confidence in God"
When God Writes Your Love Story by Eric and Leslie Ludy "Being single is an opportunity to discover who God has made us to be and what He has called us to in this life"
Have A Little Faith by Mitch Albom "It is more comforting to think God listened and said no, then to think that nobody's out there"
The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch "I probably got more from that dream and not accomplishing it than I got from any of the ones that I did accomplish."
Nicole Nordman once said in one of her songs that:
"Time brings change. And change takes time."
I think this summer I've seen more change than I could even imagine having time for, but...what can you do?
This is what I do:
haha. Here it goes.
Time ticks on and on. I see moments pass me by in an instant As the sun continues to set from east to west.
There are many things that I can't change, Like the fact that each day I'm another day older. Or the fact that things won't ever be the way they were-- last year, last month, last week, or yesterday.
I can't even change the fact that things are always changing.
it's really ironic actually. When you think about it...
Today was a day of absolute girliness as I woke up and proceeded to dress myself for a night on the town with my cousins.We have been planning to see Legally Blonde for almost a year now and tonight was the night that a year's worth of waiting has come to.I'll post more on the night's entirety later, but for now, CHECK IT OUT! Because we went to a matinee showing we got pictures with 3 of my favorite people!
This is Lauren! When Legally Blonde: Search for the next Elle Woods came out she was one of the people I kept my eye on. Not only was she super amazing with her voice, but in the show she was ADORABLE! =P Couldn't get over it! I had watched the show because of her a few choice others and to see her in person AND take a picture with her was beyond fantastic
Then there is Rhiannon, who, when I first saw on TV thought she was PERFECT for the part of Margot in the musical. When she didn't get the part of Elle I wasn't too broken up, but I loved that they told her, "We would like you to come back and audition for the role of Margot." I swear I yelled at the tv and said, "I KNEW IT! and overall I was right. =D
And of course, no night would be complete if I didn't meet the star of the National Tour, Becky Gulsvig. I remember her from when MTV recorded Legally Blonde, she sang: "Elle and Warner were meant to be" haha man she's living the dream man: Traveling cross country and touring with a great show AS THE LEAD! If I could go back in time and do it all over again, I would want to do that. haha. But anyway, she was amazing. No question about it, and we were SOOO close to the stage, we could see everything! I'm a fan for life.
Take this sword that is being offered to you-- And fight. Fight for the life-- For which His was sacrificed.
And change.
From the inside out Because that’s what it’s about To live for something more--
And settle the score
To achieve a victory greater
Than what this world has in store.
